Barbara Irish's Story

“Through in-depth reflection, writing and conversations combined with my complete commitment and honesty to the process, Ray accompanied me on one of the most powerful journeys of my life. I discovered the core of who I am as a person and a professional. I know what I fundamentally stand for and need in my everyday life to feel true happiness and success. I know what has to be present for me to feel good, honest, centered and peaceful. I have a new compass in my life, and the compass is my set of Core Themes.”

What does it mean to have true happiness and success in your life? That’s the question I’ve been exploring for the last four months with the help of Ray Inglesi, President of Drake Inglesi Milardo, Inc.

For years I dreamt of being an independent consultant or consultant for a consulting company, but I imposed a barrier to taking the leap. I had a terrific paying job that leveraged my degree, a prestigious position in a very successful company, and great colleagues. How could I possibly consider leaving all that? I “should” be thankful for what I have. What would “people” think?

Two years ago, I lost my brother to a tragic illness. On the drives back and forth to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, we often talked about his disbelief that this was really happening to him. At forty-five years old, his life was coming to an end. He left me the most wonderful gift. He left me with the question, “If my life were to end at forty, could I say I had lived with true happiness and success?” My answer was NO!

I had become complacent and let the clutter of my imposed barriers keep me from pursuing change in my life. That’s when I called Ray. I had worked with Ray for years, using his firm to help my organization with many human resource-related challenges. I was sure I knew everything Ray had to offer and had been through his assessment process before, but I wanted to reach out for his support because I respect him immensely.

I have a new compass in my life, and the compass is my set of core themes.

I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t know all he had to offer and discovered his work around CoreThemes. Through in-depth reflection, writing, and conversation combined with my complete commitment and honesty to the process, Ray accompanied me on one of the most powerful journeys of my life. I discovered the core to who I am as a person and a professional. I know what I fundamentally stand for and need in my everyday life to feel true happiness and success. I know what has to be present for me to feel good, honest, centered, and peaceful.

I have a new compass in my life, and the compass is my set of core themes. The change I made four months ago is a scary one. Some may say I walked away from a good deal. I know I’m walking into a place of true happiness and success, and it was with Ray’s absolute commitment to me and my process, his active listening, his imparting of wisdom, and his terrific sense of humor that I do so with excitement, anticipation, and tremendous optimism.

The internal clutter still creeps in, and some days I ask myself if what I did was crazy. On those days, I read a favorite quote I found years ago:

“Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will bring forth, one clings to what one knew, or thought one knew; to what one possessed or dreamed one possessed. Yet it is only when one is able, without bitterness or self-pity to surrender a dream one has long cherished or a privileged one has long possessed, that one is set free; that one has set oneself free; for higher dreams, for greater privileges.”

James Baldwin
Nobody Knows My Name